Bullies - why you shouldn't thank them
I have seen many people over the years post and write about thanking their bullies for teaching them how to be a stronger person due to the suffering that was perpetrated by their bullies. I can see why some thank them, in fact, I once did. I thought about the fact that maybe if I hadn't endured the mental, physical, social and emotional bullying that had occurred, perhaps I wouldn't be as strong as I am today. What I have realised, however, is that the whole concept in this context of what if is besides the point.
The key factor of realising that thanking your bullies (albeit privately and within yourself) is useless, is to remind yourself daily that it was your strength that got you through. You did it by yourself. The only thing they did was harm you and spark the occurrences to initiate the strength that was already within you.
I can't find myself even beginning to imagine physically being able to look at the people who harmed me and thanking them. I can't imagine looking at the girl who hit me in class because I spoke quietly and thanking her for what she had done, for what abuse sparked my utilisation of my own strength. I cannot imagine thanking the people who called me words like 'fat' or 'ugly', treating me like I wasn't human simply because of my appearance. They do not deserve my thanks. Your bullies do not deserve it either.
You need to thank yourself. Remind yourself of how strong you are and were to continue fighting, despite how badly their words and actions affected you. Perhaps, their actions may still resonate within you and may underline the fact that you don't feel like you should thank yourself. You deserve to thank yourself. Without yourself, standing resiliently against a raging storm that never quite seemed to quit, what would have happened?
You shouldn't thank them, you should thank yourself.